[well he's going to the library then! and he's going to be looking irritable and guarded once he's there. but when ming yi arrives, he doesn't hesitate - ]
Why tell me now on a Friday? You can say that you don't benefit from it, but you know if we're looking for a missing power tomorrow and you used one last night, it'd help if I believed you and cleared you.
[but there's something in mineo's voice - the odd little hope that he could clear ming yi. that he wants to. but sometimes you don't give out your trust as easily as people think.
sometimes it's because you're scared of giving it to the wrong people again.]
Someone got lied to - I just don't want it to be me.
[ There's no shovel with him as he walks in, having been temporarily given to Qingxuan as a crutch, but he doesn't seem concerned about it as he glances up to see Mineo - he can't say he's surprised, when he immediately starts off on the questions. ]
Because you think someone killed Eleanor and used it as a diversion, and that's reached me today. [ point blank ] I don't know who used the one that hit both you and Miss Lenore, something that likely was a distraction, but I can at least own that I used the one that left marks behind, as something that was meant to tease you, not derail you.
[ He spreads his empty hands, voice not quite the usual deadpan, but still steady, even. ]
You can ask me what you like, Mineo, but I'm not the one lying to you.
Why would you tease me on a Saturday? We're trying to get work done, and I - I felt like such an idiot.
[there's a scowl on his face, annoyed and.... well, hurt. there's no hiding the flash of anger in his eyes. for someone who's normally got a temper, it so rarely shows up on his own behalf unless he really feels like he's been pushed.]
And why would you even do that to me?!
You know I came up with a list of who didn't explain their powers to try to track them down, and I really thought - [his jaw clenches] I nearly cleared you! Because I thought you wouldn't use me like that!
But now I see I was right to not! Even if you're not trying to turn me around and distract me from a murder, where the hell do you get off...?!
[ One hand drops, but the other stays up - and he turns it, to show the stark blue tattoo that tracks over his knuckles and the back of his palm. ]
Because every week, I'm supposed to indulge in despair. Was it foolish to do it on Saturday? Yes - I certainly can't deny that, especially after seeing how it went. Would it have been better to wait until Sunday? [ His hand drops. ] Probably.
But do you know how exhausting it is, to be expected to track the root of my despair, week after week, and embrace that? To wallow in the loss of my family, the years and years of torture I went through beyond that little jail cell, to be expected to cause suffering in others, in the name of some unknown quota that we're expected to reach in the name of our goals?
A little embarrassment, a prank, was meant to be simplistic, to be harmless, not something to get so out of hand.
You can be angry with me for it, Mineo. That is, after all, the least that you deserve. But someone else lied to you about the ability they had.
They didn't lie to me - that's the problem, Yi-kun. They would've had to lie to other people, who then reported back to me because other people were trying to help. What would the point in that be? And we'll find out tomorrow what the truth of all that is because it might actually be relevant to the murder trial but—
[but.
it's not fair, he thinks. it's not fair, that he's the one who was humiliated and used for laughs in the last trial. that he was made the butt of everyone's joke like always and it's fine if it's his own fault, but even if ming yi's telling the truth then that means someone he cared about felt like messing with him.
You and Ming Yi are friends, aren't you? Would he have done it to mess with you? someone had asked him earlier in the week.
apparently the answer to that is yes.
. . . . but he can't be just mad. he can't be only mad because he hears what ming yi's saying, and he doesn't want the other man to go through that. he doesn't want him to feel all torn up and think about his own difficult life. if it's to save someone else important, then isn't it okay if mineo's a joke? isn't it okay if he's just another toy?
Your guess is as good as mine, Mineo. [ He seems so tired, suddenly, of all of this. ] Misinformation will spread faster than truth, in many cases, especially when someone wants to use it as cover. If they lied to more than one person about what they had, they could be looking to hide behind it with a different ability, whether used or not - or they might have even wound up with it, for all that it doesn't resonate with what we've known so far from these gifted abilities.
[ After a moment, he closes his eyes - seems to turn everything over, thinking about those that did report their boons, and the person that came to him. Considering Mineo was already considering them for murder, there's no point in dancing around who prompted him into coming forward like this. ]
For what little it's worth, I believe Childe. I know that Sheila mentioned she had it, during the trial itself, and I doubt she would gain anything from lying about it. Especially since she gave it by name.
[ Is the input being given as some measure of apology? Hard to say, but it is something that needs cleared up - after everything that Mineo went through on Saturday, after this information has spread so fast and harmful, like wildfire.
Ming Yi heaves a sigh, reaching up again to massage his forehead, still not looking at him directly. Not after seeing his shoulders slump like that. ]
I know. Apologies mean very little as words, but I'll give one, regardless.
I don't really care about theorizing anymore. There's only stuff we can prove, and stuff we can't. If you can't use your power tomorrow, if Childe-san can or can't use his power, then we have to look at it like that. One of you has to be lying, or the powers got divided strangely.
[he looks away, his voice quieter - ] I'm done believing in people just because I want to.
... if it was really for an indulgence, I would've done anything you wanted, you know? You just had to ask, and I would've run to help you. Or if you came to tell me without having to hear that I suspected that it was tied to murder to clear it up.
[ There's a low huff,but it's humorless, as his hand lowersand he does look at him, then. Watches as he looks away, takes in what Mineo says.
There is no taking back your actions with words, and he knows that far better than anyone else. But whatever happens tomorrow will happen - and he won't be the person standing at trial day unwilling to take responsibility for what he's done after coming clean with it. ]
I know. [ Something wry twists into his voice. ] But letting myself rely on people and being able to accept that they genuinely see something in me aren't strong suits of mine.
[ Ming Yi inclines his head slightly, and leaves it at that as he goes to exit the library, to let Mineo have his space before the upcoming madhouse that they'll be facing. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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library.
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Why tell me now on a Friday? You can say that you don't benefit from it, but you know if we're looking for a missing power tomorrow and you used one last night, it'd help if I believed you and cleared you.
[but there's something in mineo's voice - the odd little hope that he could clear ming yi. that he wants to. but sometimes you don't give out your trust as easily as people think.
sometimes it's because you're scared of giving it to the wrong people again.]
Someone got lied to - I just don't want it to be me.
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Because you think someone killed Eleanor and used it as a diversion, and that's reached me today. [ point blank ] I don't know who used the one that hit both you and Miss Lenore, something that likely was a distraction, but I can at least own that I used the one that left marks behind, as something that was meant to tease you, not derail you.
[ He spreads his empty hands, voice not quite the usual deadpan, but still steady, even. ]
You can ask me what you like, Mineo, but I'm not the one lying to you.
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[there's a scowl on his face, annoyed and.... well, hurt. there's no hiding the flash of anger in his eyes. for someone who's normally got a temper, it so rarely shows up on his own behalf unless he really feels like he's been pushed.]
And why would you even do that to me?!
You know I came up with a list of who didn't explain their powers to try to track them down, and I really thought - [his jaw clenches] I nearly cleared you! Because I thought you wouldn't use me like that!
But now I see I was right to not! Even if you're not trying to turn me around and distract me from a murder, where the hell do you get off...?!
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Because every week, I'm supposed to indulge in despair. Was it foolish to do it on Saturday? Yes - I certainly can't deny that, especially after seeing how it went. Would it have been better to wait until Sunday? [ His hand drops. ] Probably.
But do you know how exhausting it is, to be expected to track the root of my despair, week after week, and embrace that? To wallow in the loss of my family, the years and years of torture I went through beyond that little jail cell, to be expected to cause suffering in others, in the name of some unknown quota that we're expected to reach in the name of our goals?
A little embarrassment, a prank, was meant to be simplistic, to be harmless, not something to get so out of hand.
You can be angry with me for it, Mineo. That is, after all, the least that you deserve. But someone else lied to you about the ability they had.
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[but.
it's not fair, he thinks. it's not fair, that he's the one who was humiliated and used for laughs in the last trial. that he was made the butt of everyone's joke like always and it's fine if it's his own fault, but even if ming yi's telling the truth then that means someone he cared about felt like messing with him.
You and Ming Yi are friends, aren't you? Would he have done it to mess with you? someone had asked him earlier in the week.
apparently the answer to that is yes.
. . . . but he can't be just mad. he can't be only mad because he hears what ming yi's saying, and he doesn't want the other man to go through that. he doesn't want him to feel all torn up and think about his own difficult life. if it's to save someone else important, then isn't it okay if mineo's a joke? isn't it okay if he's just another toy?
(is it?)
his shoulders slump.]
.... I trusted you.
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[ After a moment, he closes his eyes - seems to turn everything over, thinking about those that did report their boons, and the person that came to him. Considering Mineo was already considering them for murder, there's no point in dancing around who prompted him into coming forward like this. ]
For what little it's worth, I believe Childe. I know that Sheila mentioned she had it, during the trial itself, and I doubt she would gain anything from lying about it. Especially since she gave it by name.
[ Is the input being given as some measure of apology? Hard to say, but it is something that needs cleared up - after everything that Mineo went through on Saturday, after this information has spread so fast and harmful, like wildfire.
Ming Yi heaves a sigh, reaching up again to massage his forehead, still not looking at him directly. Not after seeing his shoulders slump like that. ]
I know. Apologies mean very little as words, but I'll give one, regardless.
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I don't really care about theorizing anymore. There's only stuff we can prove, and stuff we can't. If you can't use your power tomorrow, if Childe-san can or can't use his power, then we have to look at it like that. One of you has to be lying, or the powers got divided strangely.
[he looks away, his voice quieter - ] I'm done believing in people just because I want to.
... if it was really for an indulgence, I would've done anything you wanted, you know? You just had to ask, and I would've run to help you. Or if you came to tell me without having to hear that I suspected that it was tied to murder to clear it up.
I hope it was worth it, Ming Yi-san.
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There is no taking back your actions with words, and he knows that far better than anyone else. But whatever happens tomorrow will happen - and he won't be the person standing at trial day unwilling to take responsibility for what he's done after coming clean with it. ]
I know. [ Something wry twists into his voice. ] But letting myself rely on people and being able to accept that they genuinely see something in me aren't strong suits of mine.
[ Ming Yi inclines his head slightly, and leaves it at that as he goes to exit the library, to let Mineo have his space before the upcoming madhouse that they'll be facing. ]
I suppose we'll see if it was tomorrow.